so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
