How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Let's get the cat blown out
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