I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Ladies don't puke and tell
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
