Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
