Whod you bang
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
