That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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