Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
