so explain again why im purple
no
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
