you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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