i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
