508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
