You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
