We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
