im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
