seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize