I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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