I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
