It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
