At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
