I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
