i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
