I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
