Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
