i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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