And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize