i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
