fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He passed out mid-signature
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
