I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
