I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
