What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
