Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
