If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My life is pants optional.
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