wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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