Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i've created a new STD.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
