lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
