Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
