im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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