Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
