They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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