i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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