I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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