is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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