How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
