Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
