I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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