So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
