There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
