so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
