i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
