Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
